work

paper // music

Not looking at the paper
is like not looking at my music.

Like, although it’s fun
and satisfying
to “check off” those things i’ve done
and highlight my accomplishments
(or were they? they’re just words i presented in class)…

And even though the music is like
a rock
when I feel i’m sinking
in an odd key…

i feel more free
when i go without.

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dream // wake

in my dream last night
i lived in Chicago again
but had the job I have
now

i was leaving, moving back,
and (i guess) told them i had to go

it wasn’t 4th of July this time
it wasn’t a month’s notice
it wasn’t saying goodbye to them all
and driving home

i came home and walked into my new job
(that i had somehow had before)
and realized i didn’t love it
i told them
“i left in the middle of the week!
i have to go back
and work two more days.”
the manager wasn’t happy about that.
she frowned and i thought about how long the train ride would be.

but i was seriously considering going back
moving there again
for good, for longer

because what about those kids?
what about watching them grow up?
what about knowing them better next year?

i started to wake up

and realized:
that Chicago-job, the one in the dream
is really the job i have now
i don’t have to move back
i just have to wake up

so I did,
and left for work.