life

brown + gold

swing me round;
we’d have played ball.
hold me up so i won’t fall.
i guess that’s not really my call
cuz i already have.

blue and green and brown and gold
oh ye who are one year more old
this air doesn’t seem quite so cold
when you are holding my hand

 

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dream // wake

in my dream last night
i lived in Chicago again
but had the job I have
now

i was leaving, moving back,
and (i guess) told them i had to go

it wasn’t 4th of July this time
it wasn’t a month’s notice
it wasn’t saying goodbye to them all
and driving home

i came home and walked into my new job
(that i had somehow had before)
and realized i didn’t love it
i told them
“i left in the middle of the week!
i have to go back
and work two more days.”
the manager wasn’t happy about that.
she frowned and i thought about how long the train ride would be.

but i was seriously considering going back
moving there again
for good, for longer

because what about those kids?
what about watching them grow up?
what about knowing them better next year?

i started to wake up

and realized:
that Chicago-job, the one in the dream
is really the job i have now
i don’t have to move back
i just have to wake up

so I did,
and left for work.

lesson planning

They laughed today
So laughed
Posters plastered against the walls of that building
on my college campus.

“Let’s eat…” but when you take away the comma it’s not so civil.
Let’s eat, Sarah.
Let’s eat Sarah.

Let’s hit, John.
Let’s hit John.

They laughed.

& me, smiling,
glasses wearing,
writing poetry on yellow sticky notes in the minutes left in the work day.

Fingers stained blue from rewriting their names.

Poetry. I wonder how that lesson will go when I teach them, when we
write our own rhymes in 30 minutes of class time.

There are a lot of things that will be fun to teach them, I think.

Alliteration , tenses, writing letters, our own book titles, finding the syllables in our names. Categories and I look up games and I wonder, have I found the job of my dreams?

Thankful, I am so thankful.

There are a lot of things that will be fun to teach them, I think.

But on Monday, where should I start?

silver – now

well,
it happened!
that someday me,
that imagined place where i could sleep
five weeks ago it all came true
and ended just last night

i suppose it was just two weeks ago that i decided
“i think i want to stay..”
so i started sending out applications like mad
and one day i had an interview scheduled
and the day after that i was sitting there
and this woman was saying she wanted to hire me

on the spot? that’s never happened to me!
and five days later i started to be
the newest one that works at this place
that five days later was today

i have a tight budget
the show closed yesterday
new people, new work
“i’m going to stay”

but i am so excited!
i love my new housemates
i have a book and a journal
and “when i am afraid..”

silver ink scrawled on my hand
the last day of the show:
“when i am afraid i will trust”
in this God i’m blessed to know

somewhat-like

i was 22 and about to start on
a new experience, the incredible unknown,
something somewhat like an adventure
i was combing craigslist and calling friends
trying to find someone who would house me for my
awkward living-in-chicago dates and for
less than my life savings.

i was scheduling an interview for wednesday
and wondering
what if!
i got it and i’d be in the city for 7 1/2 more months than i’d originally planned?

and i was wondering (again)
what about money?
why does this job barely pay?
i have one month! what if i don’t find something?
and yet, sometimes, my mom would say
“don’t worry. God knows. Your life is in His hands.”
i liked that.
it was something good to hear for this 22-year-old, this just graduated person, this person about to start out on something new…

i was 22..
no, that’s not quite true.
i am 22. i am just graduated. i am about to start this something new.
i am looking and waiting and praying and worrying and hoping
thinking about what dress to wear
to the interview where i guess i’ll share
this new experience
this incredible unknown,
this something somewhat like an adventure.

red-gold

maybe one day i will have a blog

it will be called here is where i live
and will document the travels we’ll have when we,
friend of my life,
stand on stages and play songs about
your memories
and my dreams

it will be called sepia and other colors
and the posts will be photos, pictures of my life
pictures in colors that did not happen
because it looks better that way

glitter in the dust
therefore, this
maybe one day i will have a blog

or the colors that did..
light blue
red gold
it is the sky and the strands of red that,
sometimes,
are shown the top of the world

and in the sun they are red gold